| Dec. 14th, 2009 @ 01:23 am it's been four weeks |
|---|
Mood Now:  cranky
Tunes Now: Pearl Jam, even flow
since i've updated this bitch!
i hit a kind of tough spot and really opened up to rob about everything. since i feel like simon isn't available as much as he used to be i had to find someone else besides bobby. bobby's a great guy and everything but i don't think he'd give me the advice i want/need to hear. i need to talk to someone who's been in the same boat before. so i've opened up to rob and fessed some things to him. the next day we spent the entire afternoon together. we didn't talk about anything i mentioned and he never asked if i was alright. we just drove around and hung out like friends should. which was exactly what i needed. a friend to be with to take my mind off of things and [laugh].
i know bobby's always there for me and he always makes me happy. but i just can't talk to him about some stuff, he wouldn't know what to say. and natasha, she'd find some way to turn the conversation around to talk about herself. on that note, i've had it with her. almost everytime i'm with her it's always "can we get my sister from school?" "can we pick my mom up from work?" "can you drive my mom to get booze?" "can we go here.... or there...?" it's always her asking favors from me and i NEVER get anything out of it; not a damn thing.
now, i did see simon not too long ago. we didn't do much but get food at the mall and hang out with jefferey at stop 'n shop. i went furious when jay's girl calls me and starts bitchin at me. what the fuck did i do?... and this psycho bitch starts screamin and hollerin at me. all i did was call jay looking for bud and then it's like everything blows up. anyways, hanging out with them that night was... i duno... nice. even though now there are some boundries of what can and cannot be spoken about. but it's cool.
finals are this week and i don't expect to pass stats and english again. i'm miserable. i had a nice long talk with my mom about school and work and health insurance. i'm going to work full time and retake one class at a time; just to improve my grades and gpa. i still don't know what i want to do but it's a start in case i want to transfer.
i need to sleep. i feel like i'm just typing away and not thinking about what i'm writing; i bet it's just a bunch of mumbo jumbo.
this bed is cold without him. |
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